I vow...

...to never:

Refer to the bathroom as the "potty" in the company of adults.

Post every single milestone my kid does on Facebook as if she's the first kid to have ever smiled, rolled over, or taken a crap having the consistency of peanut butter.

Identify myself as "Lorelei's mommy" instead of by my name.

That's all that comes to mind right now, but those were the ones bugging me today!