Coming to Terms

Ok, I think I have finally stopped feeling sorry for myself.

I'm feeling pretty great these days! Second trimester is pretty awesome. The only odd part is the whole round ligament/braxton hicks thing I'm still getting used to. Strange! It's funny how my body is changing. I'm not hating it that much though!

Of course, I was thrown for a loop when my doctor mentions that perhaps I gained too much weight at my last prenatal appointment....dammit! I knew I shouldn't have eaten Chipotle the night before! Well, even if it wasn't just me retaining water, I guess I haven't been "reeling it in" as much as I would have liked between weeks 16-20. But I am more aware of stuff now, so I'm hoping that my weight gain will be on target at my next appointment (at 23 weeks). Arg.

I watched my friend Claire run the Cleveland Half Marathon today. It was really exciting, because they ran right through a section of Tremont, my neighbhorhood. And it was easy to find a spot to cheer for about a half-hour because it's not a mob scene like NY or anything. Funny thing is, she saw me before I saw her! That figures. She was already passing me before I could shout, "Woohoo!"

It did get me a little emotional, though. I cannot lie. I couldn't help but think, "I should be running this!" But I quickly stopped that. Besides, Derek made me feel a lot better when he said that next year, he would bring our little girl out to that same spot to watch me if I wanted to run it. (Did I mention we're having a girl? YAY!). So I thought about stuff I can do, and how to make it work for me. After I was done watching, I went for a two-mile walk with a bit of "fartlek" (although not speedy fartlek, just regular running) thrown in for good measure. Like I'd walk for a couple blocks, then say, "Ok, now run to that mailbox," or "Run to the end of the next block." It was good, but for some reason my bladder was feeling it a lot today during the running parts! Oh well.

This afternoon I plan on seeing the movie Babies. Very excited for that! Other than that, just relaxing on this Sunday afternoon.

Hitting the Wall, Part II

Ok, so I feel like I have hit a new kind of "wall" this week. The "I can't friggin run ONE MILE without stopping to walk" wall!!!

I'm not even that big yet. I'm showing, yeah, but really I just feel oaflike and sluggish on the road, not glowing and pregnant. Ugh!

And I don't want to stop running. I won't, not at least for another month or two. But I am seriously having to redefine my expectations of what I can do.

Yoga has been an enormous help. And walking is great too. But DAMMIT, I want to RUN! Forget that, I want to RACE!

There was a local 5k today (the Lakewood Hospital Ambulance Chase) that I thought I could possibly run...jog? Run/walk? But I didn't. I don't know why. There was even a 5k walk associated with it that I could have done. But I was afraid. Afraid of being disappointed in my time, in myself for not being fit. Which is ridiculous! But still. Eh, I probably should have gone, just so I could have participated in something and felt "the buzz" of race day once again. Haven't felt that since December.

Any suggestions? I really don't want to become "a walker" but I also want to be able to participate in local events. I could possibly lightly train for a 5k if I knew I had to go at least 1-2 min/mile slower than I used to. Well, maybe that would get me out of my non-running funk.