Coming to Terms

Ok, I think I have finally stopped feeling sorry for myself.

I'm feeling pretty great these days! Second trimester is pretty awesome. The only odd part is the whole round ligament/braxton hicks thing I'm still getting used to. Strange! It's funny how my body is changing. I'm not hating it that much though!

Of course, I was thrown for a loop when my doctor mentions that perhaps I gained too much weight at my last prenatal appointment....dammit! I knew I shouldn't have eaten Chipotle the night before! Well, even if it wasn't just me retaining water, I guess I haven't been "reeling it in" as much as I would have liked between weeks 16-20. But I am more aware of stuff now, so I'm hoping that my weight gain will be on target at my next appointment (at 23 weeks). Arg.

I watched my friend Claire run the Cleveland Half Marathon today. It was really exciting, because they ran right through a section of Tremont, my neighbhorhood. And it was easy to find a spot to cheer for about a half-hour because it's not a mob scene like NY or anything. Funny thing is, she saw me before I saw her! That figures. She was already passing me before I could shout, "Woohoo!"

It did get me a little emotional, though. I cannot lie. I couldn't help but think, "I should be running this!" But I quickly stopped that. Besides, Derek made me feel a lot better when he said that next year, he would bring our little girl out to that same spot to watch me if I wanted to run it. (Did I mention we're having a girl? YAY!). So I thought about stuff I can do, and how to make it work for me. After I was done watching, I went for a two-mile walk with a bit of "fartlek" (although not speedy fartlek, just regular running) thrown in for good measure. Like I'd walk for a couple blocks, then say, "Ok, now run to that mailbox," or "Run to the end of the next block." It was good, but for some reason my bladder was feeling it a lot today during the running parts! Oh well.

This afternoon I plan on seeing the movie Babies. Very excited for that! Other than that, just relaxing on this Sunday afternoon.

Hitting the Wall, Part II

Ok, so I feel like I have hit a new kind of "wall" this week. The "I can't friggin run ONE MILE without stopping to walk" wall!!!

I'm not even that big yet. I'm showing, yeah, but really I just feel oaflike and sluggish on the road, not glowing and pregnant. Ugh!

And I don't want to stop running. I won't, not at least for another month or two. But I am seriously having to redefine my expectations of what I can do.

Yoga has been an enormous help. And walking is great too. But DAMMIT, I want to RUN! Forget that, I want to RACE!

There was a local 5k today (the Lakewood Hospital Ambulance Chase) that I thought I could possibly run...jog? Run/walk? But I didn't. I don't know why. There was even a 5k walk associated with it that I could have done. But I was afraid. Afraid of being disappointed in my time, in myself for not being fit. Which is ridiculous! But still. Eh, I probably should have gone, just so I could have participated in something and felt "the buzz" of race day once again. Haven't felt that since December.

Any suggestions? I really don't want to become "a walker" but I also want to be able to participate in local events. I could possibly lightly train for a 5k if I knew I had to go at least 1-2 min/mile slower than I used to. Well, maybe that would get me out of my non-running funk.

Join the Club

Hey all,

Well, I've gotta get something off my chest that's been bugging me.

I feel like I have left one "club" and have joined another. And I want to be a member of both!

What I'm talking about is "being a runner" vs. "being pregnant." Now, I know I can do both, but I am finding it so incredibly difficult to run these days! Whether it's because of my EXTREME exhaustion, making it impossible to get up an hour earlier for a morning run, or to drag myself out after work for an evening run....or because it is like my body feels like a ton of bricks WHILE I'm running..I just feel so out of it.

And out of the loop! Now that Spring is here, I am aware of all these great races around me, including half-marathons, 10-milers, and a slew of 5ks. In another other year, I would be signing up for them all.  Yesterday I went to (easy) yoga, and then to a diner where about twenty runners with medals were hanging out stuffing their faces because they had just done an awesome race! A race I was sad not to have run.

I know, I know - pregnancy is WONDERFUL. The thought of being a mom is awesome. And I am embracing the changes in my body as well as possible. But I cannot stand not running, and racing, the way I used to.

I realize this is not permanent; that once I feel up to it I will begin to run again the way I like. And it's not like I have completely stopped running now. It's just that I feel so incredibly tired and slow right now. And left out.

I make myself feel better by saying that running will always be there, and that it's not going anywhere. But pregnancy, and motherhood, are opportunities for growth and for giving life a greater meaning, and these things have presented themselves NOW. I am really happy about that! And Derek also knows that once I recover from childbirth, if I am not able to run to relieve stress or get a moment to myself, he will be the one hearing about it. :) So I am sure he will be more than willing to watch the little one while I run laps around the block.

In other news...we find out the sex of the baby tomorrow! I am so excited and nervous. I just want to make sure that everything is ok and that he or she is healthy.

Anyway, happy Sunday!

Big News!!

Derek and I are going to be parents!!!!!

YAY!

I know I've been MIA from the blogosphere lately...but there has just been so much going on, plus I have been so tired, PLUS I didn't exactly know how to post when I had this big secret inside that I just wanted to share!

The short story is...I suspected this in January, and sure enough, the home tests did confirm...it was really very amazing to see that on the "stick" - I have never been pregnant before, so I never got the "double line" (or, on the more high-tech tests, the "pregnant" readout). I have to admit, the first test I tried was from the dollar store, so I took that result with a grain of salt...but after two more, and then another three days later...I was like, OK! And of course the doctor confirmed it.

I've had a bunch of appointments so far, and am currently at 16 weeks and one day!! On April 26 we get to find out whether it's a boy or a girl...I can't say that I am definitely hoping for one or the other - all I care about is that he or she is healthy - but I am sorta thinking it's a girl. Just a hunch!

I am so excited to now hear from all you moms out there, especially running moms. Did your running take a hit like mine sorta has when you were expecting? I've been doing a lot of walking, some yoga, and have run some, but no longer than 4 miles (and that's only like once a week or so - usually I've been averaging 2-3 miles). After the horrendous nausea and fatigue of the first trimester, the second trimester feels like a dream. So much better! Plus, the weather is getting nicer, and I just got a new pair of running shoes... :)

In other news, I turned 30 yesterday.  It was very exciting, and not at all depressing (like I have heard), being that I really have everything I can ask for: a wonderful family, a great husband, good friends, my health, and now, a little person who will turn out to be the most important thing to us!!

(Due date is September 24, by the way...)

So happy!

And the thermometer climbs...

...into the 40s! YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Just had a great 4-mile run with my friend Claire. We ran around the neighborhood and loved every second of it, because the sun was SHINING (a rare thing to come by in Cleveland) and everything was melting. I swear, yesterday I acually SMELLED Spring coming. I wish I had a poem in mind that talks about the coming of Spring so I could quote it, but I'm drawing a blank. Oh well, no matter.

It's amazing how much a little sun and warmth can do for your mood.

By the way, question for you all...have any of you ever used a light therapy lamp? I was looking into maybe getting one for next winter. Last year in Wisconsin, and this year in Ohio, the cloudiness and lack of daylight in the winter is getting to be too much for me to bear!  I was just wondering if any of you who are affected by the seasons like I am have tried this type of lamp. Thanks for the feedback!

Me: 1, Winter Blues: 0

Hahahhaha! I made it out again today! Snow, you beautiful but annoyingly slushy and slippery beast, I have defeated you.

My run was not long, nor was it particularly special in any way, BUT: I completed it. I came out of my morning funk and decided to just get on with it and run. Because it's what I love!

I decided not to care if my feet got wet, or if I had to walk at certain times when the snow or ice was abundant.
I even decided not to care if I had to stop, or move to the side, when a car approached. Furthermore, I didn't care that I was practically running at a snail's pace. I was running!

And, during my last stretch, when I decided to take it a little faster, I knew I couldn't maintain it like I could in the fall. But it was nice to attempt a little speedwork.

I am happy.

Maybe March will mean...the end of my self-imposed hibernation?

Hopefully this crap melts away soon....I am itching to buy a new pair of running shoes and get out there consistently!

Happy Sunday, everyone.

And...it's STILL February!

..But not for long!

I don't know about you, but March just sounds, and feels, so much better to me than (shudder) FEBRUARY. Ugh.

Highlights of the week:

• it was actually really nice last weekend, so Claire and I went out for a 4-mile run in Rocky River! Yessss!
• ...followed by blecchy flurries, followed by another huge snowstorm! (or maybe two? I can't count, but we definitely got over a foot of snow in the last few days).
• So, my parents had scheduled a visit to good ol' Cleveland Thursday (which, by the way, is supposedly the "most miserable U.S. city" according to Forbes), but their flight got canceled. :(
• Derek left on a business trip to NY Wednesday...and got stuck there too! Wah! Now, my whole family is in NY and I am here in Cleve-o.
• Um, as if that wasn't bad enough, our heat went off late Thursday night and I had to sleep in like five layers!
• Drove to work and back in a blizzard. The Cleveland schools were all actually closed for once, so it woulda been a good time to be a teacher.  Our office was open, so....oh well!

But, last night I went to dinner in the neighborhood with Rob and Claire, and then slept over there last night. Today, we went to "Skinny Bitch" class at Studio 11 (yikes! I feel so out of shape). Derek made it home today, and our heat is thankfully back on! Bring on the weekend!

And bring on March!

The 'rents rescheduled for the weekend of the 20th, so...I am crossing my fingers for good weather!

That's all for now.